Sunday School

Back to Sunday school this morning. My last month. I was looking at the kids and couldn't stop thinking how blessed they were. Kept wondering if they knew it. Chances are they don't give that any thoughts. Kids have kids' thoughts.

I took the Lower Elementary girls today cuz the other teacher was expecting to teach the older class. Kinda strange b/c she taught the lower class on the last rotation. When I decided last year that I'd quit after end of January, I had felt OK with the decision. No sense of relief, no sense of loss, but no sense of joy either. Or I guess if I really have to be honest, I came to that decision out of frustration...and cuz I was a bit tired of God.

I do believe God's faithful, even when we ain't. Or at least when I ain't. He let me see something today. I looked at the children this morning, most of them sitting in their chairs. Some chatting, some zoned out, some listening. Then I looked at the girls that I think God gave me...that's when I realized that maybe I do love them. It was such a strange feeling, it's kinda hard to describe. Maybe that's how God feels when He looks at His children.

I dunno if I made the right decision to quit. In ways more than one, I'm scared to miss something that God wants me to do. At the same time, I'm worried that I'm not a good enough teacher. Teaching a student math or physics is one thing, but teaching someone God's way...that's a load way above my shoulders. Strength is from God, so is wisdom, so is grace. Do I believe? Or rather, do I believe enough to act on it? I took up Sunday school b/c it was in my heart that every child be brought up in the word of God, b/c it's a blessing I didn't have, whose importance I've come to realize first hand. Would God be happy if I quit?