There's a Time for Everything

I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks so much to the three wonderful ladies who prayed for me last night. Life again feels solid, and is slowly beginning to feel driven again. I've come to notice that every time I get into "trouble", it's most likely because I forget God loves me. Before, when I didn't know Him, life was nice and dandy without Him. But now that I've met Him, I know with such intense certainty that I won't be able to survive without Him. Sometimes when it's all quiet and I'm thinking about what God has been in my life, my heart goes out to some of my friends who don't know Him, because they don't know what they could have. Sometimes I feel extremely stupid because I know what I have, but I forget what I know I have.

There was a time in my life when I was very aware of God's love for me, and that's the happiest time in my life. There was a time in my life when I was so in love with God that I could literally feel my heart explode for Him every morning when I woke up. There was a time when I wished I hadn't known God or God hadn't found me, because it had become so stressful trying to find out what His will was. There was a time when God became a Mr No to me because everything I asked Him, He bascially gave me a no. There was a time when my family teamed up against me calling me crazy and various names, and it hurt but also brought me joy because I knew Jesus was with me. I look back on my life, and I look around me @ the people @ work (yes I'm updating my blog at lunchtime haha), and I know without a doubt that God's real. If we would all understand...

I cannot guarantee that I won't let go of God's hands. But I pray that God'll give me the confidence that when I do let go, He'll come get me with His arms. Make me an obedient child who understands Your heart, and on whom Your face always shines, Lord. Amen.